This scares me. I’ve loved the idea of having a blog for at least 5 years. The idea of putting my words out there in the world. I’ve shared my thoughts on social media for years now. While I can’t say it’s always easy, I feel less resistance there. Almost like it’s easier to hide on social media.
Like there’s more going on so not everyone is looking at me. Or the words are hidden amongst selfies and travel photos and videos of my life. Like I’m playing peek-a-boo with my words and thoughts.
This feels different. This feels scary. This feels like all eyes are on me and my words. Even though there are thousands of people on here and as of this moment I have zero subscribers. No one may ever read this. On the flipside though, thousands of people may read this. My mom would if I told her about it. In truth, I’ve only told one person about it. Probably isn’t the best move if I want people to read this.
There’s something though about not telling anyone I know quite yet. It feels a little more like my own piece of the world. Like when you wake up early and go sit outside. It’s just you and the birds. The whole world still feels like it’s asleep. It’s not fully light yet and it feels like nothing can touch you. Right now, if I don’t tell the people in my life, it’s just me and the birds. You know, me and the whole internet. It somehow feels quieter.
Which brings me back to my point. This feels scary. This is me. Choosing to put my thoughts, my experiences, and my stories out here in one place. Choosing to use my voice. To better my voice. To hone in on what it is I have to say. And to share it with the world. To let people know they’re not alone. To spark conversation and build community. To bring more art into the world. To see what the hell might happen when one more person chooses to show up to share and to create.