The Real MVP's of The Dating World

feels a little like stop and smell the roses

The dating world.

I’ve had this thought a few times over the last month or so. There’s a part of the dating experience that I feel like we don’t talk about. It could be because we take it for granted. It could be because it’s just a part of our everyday life and not part of the chase. Our world often focuses on one type of relationship, right? Find your person. But alongside finding that person, there are the relationships you build along the way.

It’s the one with your friends, maybe family. Hell, it could even be some strangers.

It’s the one that while on this wild ride, makes my heart so damn happy.

Maine 2023

The moments (for me) where you come home from a date and jump in bed with your roommate at 1130pm even though she has to be up at 530am to gush and share every detail of the night. And she lets you even though she’s half asleep.

It’s the conversations with your people where they remind you what you deserve, and help you figure out how to stand up for it.

It’s the ones where they (lovingly) call you out on your own bullshit behavior.

It’s where they tease you for smiling and giggling at your phone like you’re back in high school.

The ones where they remind you to ask for what you want.

Or how they remind you of how proud you should be of yourself for your growth and progress.

When we are dating, we are so focused on finding that person. It makes perfect sense, I mean, it’s mostly why you date, right?

But until now, I’ve never really thought about the relationships happening outside of finding that person. Or maybe I have but in a different way.

This time, I have found myself coming back to these thoughts over and over again.

Maybe it’s the phase of life I’m in.

Adventure Mugs, Indiana, 2024

Maybe it’s because of the group of people I have found myself surrounded by in this last year. The ones that don’t just support me, or offer a listening ear, but hold up a mirror when I need it.

Maybe it’s because I am more aware of my decisions, experiences, and relationships than ever before.

But there’s just something ever so special about it this time. Something that fills my heart, and reminds me to be grateful for this present season of my life.

I think the other side is the healing that happens through our friendships. I am someone who makes decisions by talking things out loud. I need to hear myself say it. Those select people can be your safe space. Your sounding board. They can point out the things that you can’t see. They remind you of who you are. They let you cry, or laugh until it hurts. You peel back the layers. They heal. You heal.

I believe in finding and having your person. It’s such an important relationship if you want it. AND this feels like a reminder that the relationships and season of your life on the way there get to be just as good.

All in all, these words could probably be summed up with the phrase “stop to smell the roses" or simply, be present and grateful for what you have.

It could be a reminder to cherish my life and the people in it on the way to whatever’s next.

Maybe these last few months of dating weren’t really about the person at all. Maybe they were about me, following my gut, and having great

moments with friends.