I love this post with all my heart. Also I bought birthday cake Oreos this week, so I feel like we’re in the same energy haha, except I was able to get some writing out this week thankfully. There’s definitely resistance in the air. I think it will settle as the snow comes.
I’m going to come back and write even more comments on this post because I LOVE IT SO MUCH
and thank you with all my heart for mentioning me. I absolutely love seeing all our interactions when I wake up or before I go to bed. It’s so wholesome. Thank you Carla for being my Substack bestie!
I’ve been writing for so long that I forgot how beautiful the beginning is, and how every step forward feels like an absolute miracle. How exciting it is to finally feel into the groove of your true path. Sometimes I get frustrated with all that I want to be, but not yet am, and this is such a beautiful reminder that every step forward is a miracle. Every blog published, every word written, every fear overcome. PS - I fully ate way too many chocolate covered strawberries at my desk today. It’s necessary sometimes!
Every step forward does feel like a miracle. A miracle that I need to remind myself of when I don't want to write! I totally understand that frustration.
Ohhhh chocolate covered strawberries. A weakness. Were they milk or dark chocolate?
I'm self sabotaging right now... Watching Gilmore Girls instead of opening up the laptop that's sitting at me feet.
On the days that are good, I usually begin them with a little ritual. Coffee followed by a meditation/Journaling prompt, then a self-care check in journal, and I do some real journaling. I find this gives me a blank slate. Ussually it gives me enough momentum to open up my laptop and either write on here, or pour my creativity into the first draft of my novel. If I don't get up and immediately dive into my writing practice the chances of me opening up that laptop later in the day are pretty slim.
I've learned thid year that it's easier to be gentle with myself, sitting around beating myself up for sitting around rarely lights a fire for me. Getting outside, reading a book, or talking with one of my writing friends helps. Thinking about writing is as much a part of a writers life as writing is.
First off, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I very much appreciate you.
I hope you were able to use one of your resources to move through your self sabotage and if you didn't, that's okay too!
I love the idea of having a ritual! I understand what you mean about not getting to it later if you don't do it first thing. I am also working on learning to be gentler with myself. I know beating myself up doesn't help me! Sometimes distracting myself with something like getting outside or reading a book allows the back of my mind to figure out what I want to say or do next.
A few of the other comments on here gave some thought provoking perspective on self sabotage too that might be helpful, especially when you add in your thoughts about giving ourselves some grace.
I'm working on finding a creative practice that works for me, especially becuase I currently don't have the space I like to have to write. It's a process right though?
Forgot to add my experience with self sabotage when it comes to writing is an inner voice that’s says “this is rubbish” and then I procrastinate. The procrastination comes from fear. To help this I have found keeping a messy journal - a book I can thought dump words, ideas, it’s messy, unruly, it’s CHOAS. I’m usually tidy and organised but this messy journal just gets my juices flowing with no pressure about perfection x
Oh I love the idea of having a messy journal! Like it doesn't matter you can just let whatever needs to flow, flow! That's a good idea! Thank you for sharing that!
Carla incredible article 👏🏻 you so are on the right path and your writing is beautiful. I really really enjoyed reading this it felt like having a cosy chat with a friend who understands me. I don’t think you need chocolate chips to help you girl, you got it all going on. They are a sweet reward for doing so well xx
Chocolate chips are my kryptonite, I feel you!! And I feel the resistance. I had so many ideas when I started two weeks ago I could have posted multiple times a day, then five days in I got stuck. I decided to share a personal story this morning to get over my stuckness so hopefully the ideas start flowing again now
Same! Especially if they are dark chocolate. I've noticed that I do better when I have more space in my life to sit down and let things flow. However, I also have to work and do other things, so I'm trying to figure out to have both. How did it feel to share your story? Can you link it here!
Same!! It felt good and also humbling! I spent days making small edits and wondering if I should even publish it and when I did, nothing happened. Since then 22 people have seen it and six have liked it, but it’s a good reminder that it’s not that big of a deal to anyone else!
I love this post, the many sentiments expressed. I also appreciate the example of writing about what you are experiencing in the moment as a way to bypass self-sabotage. Or that's how I read it. Reminds me of when I wrote, "my brain is tired," then this whole flood came out that certainly didn't sound like a tired brain. If I'm feeling resistance, to anything, chances are some other aspect of my being is feeling neglected in some way. Rather than an impediment, self-sabotage can be a means of redirecting attention. There's likely some imbalance, emotionally, circumstantially, that's impeding the flow. Discerning and tending to that generally opens things up. Maybe those chocolate chips were just the thing?
That's exactly what happened. I wasn't planning on writing what I wrote yesterday. I had an entirely different plan but I couldn't get myself to do it. So then I got some chocolate chips and let the inspiration and moment take me. That's a great perspective on self sabotage. I've never thought about it that way.
My soul sings as I read this over and over. There’s so many good questions and sentences in this post.
I’ve definitely self-sabotaged while growing up. At some point it became my go-to reaction because I was the only thing that I could control, and I was such a people pleaser. Now, I have boundaries and good communication skills so usually I just work out the issue.
Self-sabotage is so heartbreaking. It’s telling our inner child “no you can’t have that” and I don’t want anyone to resort to that kind of behaviour. It took years to get out of that cycle, and to get out of it, you have to learn what you want. I mean really learn what you want. What food you want to eat, what book you want to read, what hobbies you want to pursue, what job you want, where you want to live…you have to know everything that you want. It’s hard work doing that, because it takes lots of thought and trial and error. It takes self-compassion to know what you want. To see yourself through your successes. Honestly self-sabotaging is less work. It’s easier. It’s simpler. Who needs to want to do something - why not just do nothing? Well, I know at least that there is so much joy in doing what you want, whatever it is.
As for resistance, I feel it lately. Not because I don’t want to write, but because there’s so much going on in my life that I want to wait and experience it before coming to reflect here on Substack with my readers. I’m finding pieces that I can reflect on though. It’s been 11 months of writing weekly newsletters and that rhythm is something I’m not giving up on.
I love your comments. Sometimes I have to let them rumble around in my brain before I come back to them.
I've never thought about self sabotae being less work. Being easy & simpler. It often FEELS harder but what comes up really, is that it's kind of like a toddler having a tantrum. Like I don't want to feel or don't know how to feel the things, so I'm going to be loud, or fuck shit up, or not do the thing.
THERE IS SO MUCH JOY IN DOING WHAT YOU WANT. We just have to know what we want. Gosh, you're so wise.
I love that you're not giving up on you rhythmn, as long as that continues to feel right for you. Do you always wait to move through something before you write about it?
I LOVE that you take the time to read and think about some of my comments. That’s so cool. Thank you.
As I said in a previous Note, the wisdom on self-sabotage was from my soul, not me. I hadn’t thought about it like that either. It’s totally a little tantrum. To me, it’s my body saying “find I’ll just tear down what I was working on to make YOU happy. Are you happy?” (Must be the Mars and Mercury in Aries).
Although yeah, knowing what we want requires effort and introspection and I’m sure that sounds like crazy hard work to some people. Finding my joy has been part of my healing from burnout, and it’s become second nature as I’ve been asking myself what brings me joy almost daily for the last few years.
My writing rhythm… I’ve been writing every week (sometimes multiple times per week) since October 2023. I’ve changed the way I’ve sat down to write a few times. For the last few months, and better part of this year, I ask myself what I need to sit with that week and then think about how to start writing post about that topic or experience.
So to answer your question: Am I always growing through something? Absolutely. Life is a never ending series of lessons. Do I see the end of the tunnel and then write about it? Nope. I write to process and to document reflections and insights. Some of it seems well thought out, but if you go back to my posts even from earlier this year, you can see how they connect to my later posts that sometimes even dive deeper into that lesson or revisit that story or theme, which is why I like to link posts throughout my posts to show that connection in my writing with my readers. Do I plan it out like that? Absolutely not. My words flow as they must and I accommodate the rhythm of my writing, trusting and fully knowing that it is where I need it Be at the time. I don’t know the reason though. It’s a practice of writing with your soul.
I'm definitely coming back to this one too. But one thing that is sticking out to me right now is the idea of each week, asking yourself, "what do I need to sit with this week?" I love that practice. I'll be back with more.
As always, I love your perspectives. I've read through your comments several times now. In some ways I feel like we could probably go down a rabbit hole on topics like this and at the same time, I don't have much else to add in this moment.
I think maybe we all need to define what self sabatage and resistence look like as well as mean to use. I feel like I grouped them together. Having this distinction is making me think about it all in a different way.
I love rabbit holing with you! And maybe it will be a post in the future that will be written. Grouping self-sabotage and resistance together. Time to go chew on that idea! 💡
I love this post with all my heart. Also I bought birthday cake Oreos this week, so I feel like we’re in the same energy haha, except I was able to get some writing out this week thankfully. There’s definitely resistance in the air. I think it will settle as the snow comes.
I’m going to come back and write even more comments on this post because I LOVE IT SO MUCH
and thank you with all my heart for mentioning me. I absolutely love seeing all our interactions when I wake up or before I go to bed. It’s so wholesome. Thank you Carla for being my Substack bestie!
Ohhh birthday cake oreos sound good! I'm glad you were able to get some writing out! I know i'll find my way too.
This makes my heart so damn happy! Comment all you want!
And you are absolutely welcome. I very much agree, it's wholesome and beautiful. I'm so happy to have you as my Substack bestie!
I just want to hug you!!
SAME! Maybe one day!
Yess!
I’ve been writing for so long that I forgot how beautiful the beginning is, and how every step forward feels like an absolute miracle. How exciting it is to finally feel into the groove of your true path. Sometimes I get frustrated with all that I want to be, but not yet am, and this is such a beautiful reminder that every step forward is a miracle. Every blog published, every word written, every fear overcome. PS - I fully ate way too many chocolate covered strawberries at my desk today. It’s necessary sometimes!
Every step forward does feel like a miracle. A miracle that I need to remind myself of when I don't want to write! I totally understand that frustration.
Ohhhh chocolate covered strawberries. A weakness. Were they milk or dark chocolate?
I'm self sabotaging right now... Watching Gilmore Girls instead of opening up the laptop that's sitting at me feet.
On the days that are good, I usually begin them with a little ritual. Coffee followed by a meditation/Journaling prompt, then a self-care check in journal, and I do some real journaling. I find this gives me a blank slate. Ussually it gives me enough momentum to open up my laptop and either write on here, or pour my creativity into the first draft of my novel. If I don't get up and immediately dive into my writing practice the chances of me opening up that laptop later in the day are pretty slim.
I've learned thid year that it's easier to be gentle with myself, sitting around beating myself up for sitting around rarely lights a fire for me. Getting outside, reading a book, or talking with one of my writing friends helps. Thinking about writing is as much a part of a writers life as writing is.
First off, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I very much appreciate you.
I hope you were able to use one of your resources to move through your self sabotage and if you didn't, that's okay too!
I love the idea of having a ritual! I understand what you mean about not getting to it later if you don't do it first thing. I am also working on learning to be gentler with myself. I know beating myself up doesn't help me! Sometimes distracting myself with something like getting outside or reading a book allows the back of my mind to figure out what I want to say or do next.
A few of the other comments on here gave some thought provoking perspective on self sabotage too that might be helpful, especially when you add in your thoughts about giving ourselves some grace.
I'm working on finding a creative practice that works for me, especially becuase I currently don't have the space I like to have to write. It's a process right though?
Forever a process worth pursuing 🙏🏻✨️
Forgot to add my experience with self sabotage when it comes to writing is an inner voice that’s says “this is rubbish” and then I procrastinate. The procrastination comes from fear. To help this I have found keeping a messy journal - a book I can thought dump words, ideas, it’s messy, unruly, it’s CHOAS. I’m usually tidy and organised but this messy journal just gets my juices flowing with no pressure about perfection x
Oh I love the idea of having a messy journal! Like it doesn't matter you can just let whatever needs to flow, flow! That's a good idea! Thank you for sharing that!
Carla incredible article 👏🏻 you so are on the right path and your writing is beautiful. I really really enjoyed reading this it felt like having a cosy chat with a friend who understands me. I don’t think you need chocolate chips to help you girl, you got it all going on. They are a sweet reward for doing so well xx
I'm sorry this took a bit to get back to but I want to say thank you so much. You seriously made my week, it means the world to me!
Chocolate chips are my kryptonite, I feel you!! And I feel the resistance. I had so many ideas when I started two weeks ago I could have posted multiple times a day, then five days in I got stuck. I decided to share a personal story this morning to get over my stuckness so hopefully the ideas start flowing again now
Same! Especially if they are dark chocolate. I've noticed that I do better when I have more space in my life to sit down and let things flow. However, I also have to work and do other things, so I'm trying to figure out to have both. How did it feel to share your story? Can you link it here!
Same!! It felt good and also humbling! I spent days making small edits and wondering if I should even publish it and when I did, nothing happened. Since then 22 people have seen it and six have liked it, but it’s a good reminder that it’s not that big of a deal to anyone else!
Here it is in case you want to read :)
https://open.substack.com/pub/amomentaryhappiness/p/how-i-manifested-my-dream-home-with?r=4bnwby&utm_medium=ios
I'm so glad you decided to post it! And that's amazing! Id love to read :)
I love this post, the many sentiments expressed. I also appreciate the example of writing about what you are experiencing in the moment as a way to bypass self-sabotage. Or that's how I read it. Reminds me of when I wrote, "my brain is tired," then this whole flood came out that certainly didn't sound like a tired brain. If I'm feeling resistance, to anything, chances are some other aspect of my being is feeling neglected in some way. Rather than an impediment, self-sabotage can be a means of redirecting attention. There's likely some imbalance, emotionally, circumstantially, that's impeding the flow. Discerning and tending to that generally opens things up. Maybe those chocolate chips were just the thing?
That's exactly what happened. I wasn't planning on writing what I wrote yesterday. I had an entirely different plan but I couldn't get myself to do it. So then I got some chocolate chips and let the inspiration and moment take me. That's a great perspective on self sabotage. I've never thought about it that way.
My soul sings as I read this over and over. There’s so many good questions and sentences in this post.
I’ve definitely self-sabotaged while growing up. At some point it became my go-to reaction because I was the only thing that I could control, and I was such a people pleaser. Now, I have boundaries and good communication skills so usually I just work out the issue.
Self-sabotage is so heartbreaking. It’s telling our inner child “no you can’t have that” and I don’t want anyone to resort to that kind of behaviour. It took years to get out of that cycle, and to get out of it, you have to learn what you want. I mean really learn what you want. What food you want to eat, what book you want to read, what hobbies you want to pursue, what job you want, where you want to live…you have to know everything that you want. It’s hard work doing that, because it takes lots of thought and trial and error. It takes self-compassion to know what you want. To see yourself through your successes. Honestly self-sabotaging is less work. It’s easier. It’s simpler. Who needs to want to do something - why not just do nothing? Well, I know at least that there is so much joy in doing what you want, whatever it is.
As for resistance, I feel it lately. Not because I don’t want to write, but because there’s so much going on in my life that I want to wait and experience it before coming to reflect here on Substack with my readers. I’m finding pieces that I can reflect on though. It’s been 11 months of writing weekly newsletters and that rhythm is something I’m not giving up on.
I love your comments. Sometimes I have to let them rumble around in my brain before I come back to them.
I've never thought about self sabotae being less work. Being easy & simpler. It often FEELS harder but what comes up really, is that it's kind of like a toddler having a tantrum. Like I don't want to feel or don't know how to feel the things, so I'm going to be loud, or fuck shit up, or not do the thing.
THERE IS SO MUCH JOY IN DOING WHAT YOU WANT. We just have to know what we want. Gosh, you're so wise.
I love that you're not giving up on you rhythmn, as long as that continues to feel right for you. Do you always wait to move through something before you write about it?
I LOVE that you take the time to read and think about some of my comments. That’s so cool. Thank you.
As I said in a previous Note, the wisdom on self-sabotage was from my soul, not me. I hadn’t thought about it like that either. It’s totally a little tantrum. To me, it’s my body saying “find I’ll just tear down what I was working on to make YOU happy. Are you happy?” (Must be the Mars and Mercury in Aries).
Although yeah, knowing what we want requires effort and introspection and I’m sure that sounds like crazy hard work to some people. Finding my joy has been part of my healing from burnout, and it’s become second nature as I’ve been asking myself what brings me joy almost daily for the last few years.
My writing rhythm… I’ve been writing every week (sometimes multiple times per week) since October 2023. I’ve changed the way I’ve sat down to write a few times. For the last few months, and better part of this year, I ask myself what I need to sit with that week and then think about how to start writing post about that topic or experience.
So to answer your question: Am I always growing through something? Absolutely. Life is a never ending series of lessons. Do I see the end of the tunnel and then write about it? Nope. I write to process and to document reflections and insights. Some of it seems well thought out, but if you go back to my posts even from earlier this year, you can see how they connect to my later posts that sometimes even dive deeper into that lesson or revisit that story or theme, which is why I like to link posts throughout my posts to show that connection in my writing with my readers. Do I plan it out like that? Absolutely not. My words flow as they must and I accommodate the rhythm of my writing, trusting and fully knowing that it is where I need it Be at the time. I don’t know the reason though. It’s a practice of writing with your soul.
I'm definitely coming back to this one too. But one thing that is sticking out to me right now is the idea of each week, asking yourself, "what do I need to sit with this week?" I love that practice. I'll be back with more.
Yeah take it week by week, ask what lessons you need to reflect on. It’s fun. Addicting. Wild. Enjoy!!!!!!!
As always, I love your perspectives. I've read through your comments several times now. In some ways I feel like we could probably go down a rabbit hole on topics like this and at the same time, I don't have much else to add in this moment.
I think maybe we all need to define what self sabatage and resistence look like as well as mean to use. I feel like I grouped them together. Having this distinction is making me think about it all in a different way.
I love rabbit holing with you! And maybe it will be a post in the future that will be written. Grouping self-sabotage and resistance together. Time to go chew on that idea! 💡
Same!! Ohhh that's a good idea too!
You’re doing brilliantly! Now I want chocolate chips too!
Thank you! Definitely recommend getting some! They're my favorite! 💛