Would you rather, go skydiving with a fear of heights or have all the things in your life work out?
The former sounds less scary most days...
“I’m afraid of failing.”
“I’m afraid I’ll get hurt.”
“I’m afraid people won’t like what I say, make, or do.”
“I’m afraid the idea won’t work.”
When we talk about fears, we often talk about the negative side of things, right?
We’re afraid of the hurt, disappointment, shame, frustration, etc.
The ones that feel less than good. They make our stomachs churn. Our chest tighten. Our blood boil. Our eyes water.
All valid. And there’s something to be said about learning to feel these feelings in a way that makes us less afraid. That gives these feelings less power. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about right now.
What about the fear of the good things?
Where are those people?
What if he says yes? What if they love your idea? What if they love you back? What if the idea not only works but blows it out of the damn water?
What if someone buys your art? What if hundreds of people buy your art? What if you’re amazing at it? What if it works out? What if it gets so damn good?
I know how to handle disappointment. Heartbreak? Got it covered. Frustration? I have boxing gloves.
But the good stuff, when all the things in your life start working out?
That’s terrifying. That makes me nauseous. My heart starts pounding. It’s not about one good thing.
It’s when all possibilities become…well, possible.
It’s when things start clicking into place.
When you look at yourself and go wow, look at how I’ve grown. Look at how I’ve handled that differently than I would have in the past.
Does that scare anyone else?
It’s good, right? We want to grow. We want things to work out. We want to feel good.
I am. They are. I do.
And yet, jumping off a cliff sounds easier. Calmer somehow. Less overwhelming.
What do you do when your fear isn’t that it’s all going to go wrong, it’s that it’s all going to go right?
Stay tuned, I’ll report back.
Yes Carla! We’re prepared for the worst but are we prepared for the best? I know I’m not. I’m working on it though.
The hardest, but most rewarding mindset shift I've made was focusing on the "what if everything works out" instead of "what if it doesn't?" Our brains condition us to think negatively in order to feel safe, but then we keep ourselves from explore new avenues that life has to offer.